In the quest to better ourselves, Aikido students at Aikido of Nebraska work diligently on the concept of control. The student very quickly realizes that the more they can control their own actions, footwork, balance, and responses, the better they will be able to control others (i.e. the attacker). Learning this aspect of precise control is quite difficult, and require years of training to achieve. The student comes to learn that, if the technique doesn’t work, it is because he/she failed the technique, not the other way around. In this regard, the student takes responsibility for themselves, and recognizes they must acquire new levels of control in order to perform the technique correctly. Like most of the lessons in the Martial Arts, this lesson applies to life as well as training.
In our current society, we often get caught up in trying to get out of taking responsibility. Oddly enough, it is this failure to take responsibility that leaves many of us feeling depressed and out of control. The more we avoid responsibility, the more we feel like “life is out to get us”, or “I can’t ever seem to catch a break”. Taking on that responsibility allows us to remain in control, because it now becomes our choice. Yes, more responsibility involves more work, but doesn’t feel better when you beat yourself up instead of letting someone else do it? Either way you will get beaten up, but at least one is your choice, and therefore under a certain amount of your control.
Therefore, make a goal of taking responsibility for every aspect of your personal life. Therefore, when something goes wrong, it is not the fault of your accountant, financial advisor, doctor, or mother, it is yours, because you are the final authority over your own life. But you know what? Ultimately, it feels better to take back that control. And, like training, the better you can control those aspects of your own life, you will find that life seems to be more fair, and you will have more influence (and control) on the world around you.